a day in the life of me

i get up when my alarm clock goes off, which is roughly an hour before work. this gives me time to shower, eat breakfast, and check my personal email before work as i cannot access it at work

instead of doing any of that, i hit the alarm clock as hard as possible until it stops making any sounds and returns to it's silent, more desirable mode of operation

the silent one

9 minutes later, i repeat this process until i realize that i will no longer be able to get to work on time

cursing myself and my love of warm and soft beds, i quickly run around like a 5 year old in a candy store trying to find everything i need for work

i get in my car and start hauling fucking ass towards work. i glance at the clock at the first red light, and then remember that i set my clock in my bedroom 15 minutes fast and as such will get to work on time

i drive through traffic like an asshole, swerving frequently and cutting people off because im a gangsta and i dont give a fuck

get to work about 2 minutes before i need to be there (which is usually 10am although this varies). i clock in and immediately go get a soda because i can't do shit without enough caffeine in my system to make abe lincoln rise out of his grave and piss on john wilkes booths tombstone while doing the seawalk

i go back to my desk and log into ohioddr and forumboredom and read those, then go out to the ontopics for a while to see who i can make feel inferior to me, as i am a veritable god of the internet

at this point it's about 11 and i'm bored so i actually do some work for a while. to make up for being lazy, i work really hard for about an hour and do almost all of the work i will be expected to do for the entire day

then i go back to forums. in a typical day i will read bemanistyle, oddr.net, bemaniso, aaron in japan, and ddrfreak and make a combined total of probably like 400 posts

i don't bother to take lunch because i'm never hungry and besides that i get paid $17 an hour so you are damn right i'm going to sit there and get that extra hour a day

eventually i am able to leave, so i come home. there is usually something kind of interesting going on, such as everyone is drunk, or, sometimes, only a few people are drunk. every once in a while no one is there at all and i get confused, but usually, people come home and get drunk so it all works out

i go down into the basement and sit on my computer for another few hours, usually while drinking more soda because seriously i will die

eventually my girlfriend comes home if she is not already there

i fuck the shit out of her and go to sleep

the end

my life is pretty cool