Perfect Hatred

"I hate them with perfect hatred, I count them mine enemies." - Psalm 139:22

Okay, so the Twilight movie is coming out. If you haven't heard of this movie yet, you're either male or over it's demographic.

I despise this series of books, and this movie will be no different unless it's Battlefield Earth bad, then I'd enjoy it because it's so horrid.

Why do I hate it? Because it's not worth the paper that it's printed on. This series is written by one Ms. Stephanie Meyers, who apparently wrote these books as a machine for her outlandish expectations and her fantasies. She self-inserted herself as the main protoganist, Bella.

Bella, Bella, Bella...Where do I begin on her? Well, she's an idiot (who throws themself off a cliff to experience a HIGH?), she's a fucking EMO DIPSHIT, she's a self-insert AND a Mary Sue. She is the reason I despise these books as much as I do.

Everyone I know who loves these books says she's an empowering figure in these books. If you called Paris Hilton an "empowering figure" everyone would LAUGH AT YOU. Well, okay, I feel kind of bad for saying that. Paris might not be smart, but she's a much smarter individual than Bella. I'll give Paris that "little victory".

I hate these books.

Another reason why is because the story is a shitfuckpile too. Here's every book in a nutshell - bella wants to have sex with a vampire so she can stay seventeen forever. That's it. That's the whole pathetic excuse. It's a horrible story, and *I* can write something better than that (and I am).

Damn it all I fucking hate these books.

NOW there's a movie coming out, and there is NOTHING unique about it. It's the same crap that Hollywood has been shoving down our throats for years BUT WAIT THERE'S VAMPIRES IN IT TOO OH LOOKY HOW EXOTIC.

And have you seen the cast photo for this shitty movie?



They look like something that would be on the CW, or ABC Family.

My girlfriend will undoubtedly got on my back for blasting her favorite book series and her favorite movie (IT ISN'T EVEN OUT YET), but eh.

This is for her.

These books are horrible. You enjoy them because you haven't read better. You know that Stephen King book I got you but haven't read yet? Please read it. Please.

And you also say you read them because you wish we were like that.

I don't wish to be Edward, and I don't wish for you to be Bella. Bella is a HORRIBLE person to be an analogue to. She is a fucking idiot and she doesn't have any common sense. You aren't anything like her. Please don't say you wish to be her. If you want to be Bella that bad, then I may have to rethink my priorities.

These are my feelings on this series, they will never change. I will always think they are poorly-written, self-appreciating (to Ms. Meyers), stupid and never should have been written. If you want to tell me I'm a jerk or if this hurts your feelings that much, fine.

But don't "*sigh*" me because my opinion differs from yours. Don't "*sigh*" me because I'm "making fun" of this series, because this is far, far from that.

I hate this series with Perfect Hatred. I hate it so much it was hard for me to not completely rip the book to shreds when I read only 26 pages of it.

STEPHANIE MEYERS IS THE SOULJA BOY OF THE LITERATURE WORLD.

Vee fucking out.