Today's recipe is Korean Barbecued Beef, also known as bul go gee at the Korean restaurant I go to.
The following ingredients:
You also need:
Beef. This beef was bought at walmart and looks like it was already cooked. The lesson: don't buy meat at walmart. Unless you are poor. I am poor.
RK: The government gives him money every month to buy food stamps with but this month he used like a third of it making this big pot of gumbo
Tanelorn: The gumbo was damn good though.
Ideally you want to use a good sirloin, it should be dark red and have thin veins of fat, called marbling, throughout it. As you can see, this is a poor quality steak.
You also need garlic and sugar, like this:
And of course, needed for the enjoyment of any meal:
And
RK: Wacky sword-and-sorcery antics are a staple dessert course that goes with many-a-meal!
Step 1: Put the meat in the freezer while you are preparing the marinade. It makes it easier to slice thin, just don't let it freeze too much.
Step 2: Crush about 4 or so cloves of garlic with the flat of your knife. When they are crushed it makes it easy to remove the peel and chop the garlic.
Additionally, the easiest way to seperate a bulb of garlic is to cruch it with the heel of your hand, when you do so the cloves should almost all seperate from the bulb.
Now, chop the garlic
And then crush it into paste with about a tablespoon of sugar. I would reccomend using a mortar and pestle, but you probably dont have one, so use your knife.
Step 3: Chop the green onions. You can just use the tops here, we don't need much.
Step 4: Grate the ginger. Just use a normal grater, like you would for cheese. There is no need to peel the ginger, just be sure to wash it. We need about a tablespoon.
Step 5: Toast the sesame seeds. Just place them in a dry pan and heat them on high heat until they start to pop. We will need 2 tablespoons of them
Then crush them, again either use a mortar and pestle or your knife.
Step 6: Place the garlic paste and green onion into a bowl. Add the following:
3 tablespoons light soy sauce
2 tablespoons dark soy sauce
1 tablespoon sesame oil
1 tablespoon rice vinegar
1 tablespoon toasted crushed sesame seeds
1 tablespoon grated ginger
the green onions.
RK: Light soy sauce, not lite soy sauce. He's mostly found light soy sauce at Asian markets, and when we tried to find one around here the only one that was close was a fucking Indian market disguised as an Asian market and the dude followed us all the fuck over the store and Tanelorn bought lychee juice or nectar or something.
Tanelorn: The guy also smelled funny.
Step 7: Slice the beef, as thinly as you can. Try not to make the slices over 1/4" thick, and always slice across the grain of the beef, else you will fail at slicing the beef.
Step 8: We puts the cows in the bowls.
And we stir the cow with the sauce, cover it, and put it in the fridge to marinate. The longer it marinates the better it will be. I am far too impatient to wait long and never marinate more than an hour, and it comes out awesome anyway.
RK: By "never marinate more than an hour", he means "didn't bother to put it in the fridge at all this time because we were fucking hungry and my sister wanted to try some before she went to bed." It was still delicious, though.
Tanelorn: I marinated it while I was making the dipping sauce, you were just too dumb to notice.
Now, RK takes over.
RK: This is the other half of our meal tonight. Most chefs choose the parts of a meal based on the complementary flavors and such, but here in the dirty South we choose them on the basis of we passed it in the freezer section and it said "new" on it. We're always open to new experiences, sort of like those people who masturbate to pictures of barefoot women stomping on bugs, only with food. Shit, that was a bad analogy. We didn't include instructions on cooking the pizza, but if you can't figure it out you're even dumber than I am.
Now would be a good time to make some rice, as well. I make rice by putting it in my rice cooker, and I haven't made rice otherwise in recent memory. I am not going to tell you how to make rice because if you cannot figure it out then you will probably have already maimed yourself or lit your kitchen on fire.
RK: Tanelorn lit his wok on fire once.
The Chef Tanelorn Experience 
Who's bad? 
