 | I've Found an Effective Stench Weapon | | 
10-23-2006, 07:05 PM
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#1 | | //bemanistyle::[Regular]
GOD GODDY is offline
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When I jack off in my apartment, I blow my load in one of three places:
1. The shower drain. If I'm in the shower and feel like whacking it, down it goes, then I wash my hair so I get the jizz through the holes without having to sweep it in with my fingers (a sticky situation, I might add).
2. The toilet. If my mother is not home or I feel like dry masturbation before a shower, or if I don't feel like risking getting caught (haven't been caught yet!), I unleash my unborn into the bowl. My bed is the most comfortable place for me to spend my sessions, and after I'm done, I hold the tip of my tube and rush to the toilet for the show. If my mother is home, I am in the bathroom the whole time.
3. A plastic bag. I used to use socks, but I quickly noticed a lot of room in one of my drawers, not to mention some small worms in the sock I used (not sure if it was the sock or the sperm that attracted them in that dark corner under my bed). A couple years ago I had no sock to use (I generally used odd socks so I wouldn't waste them so much). Suffice to say, I went into a panic, holding my penis's head. Where was I supposed to relieve myself? After a few brief moments of searching my dark room, I found a plastic bag. I prayed for no holes and shot the inside.
From that day forward I have been keeping one plastic bag at a time under my bed within easy reach for my night time spanks. After a few loads, I'd throw the bag away and get a new one. I usually have the same bag under my bed for up to two weeks, sometimes shorter.
Well, in recent weeks my libido has sky rocketed and I've been masturbating slightly more often. The bag which was under my bed lately began to stink if I took it out. The brown liquid (yes, sperm turns brown after a few days) was releasing a killer stench. I decided that thing needed to be trashed. This morning, after one more load, I tied up the bag. In doing so, it spewed out a rather significant amount of smell which literally burned my nose for about half a second. It felt horrible and I rushed the fuck out of my apartment and to the dumpster.
People, this could be a new chemical weapon. Let us join forces and show our enemies what we're made of. Jizz bombs are the future. | |
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10-23-2006, 07:07 PM
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#2 | | I want to touch your soul
Bromeo and Fooliet is online now Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: through your body... With my penis. Posts: 3,251
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The Geneva Convention and United Nations are gonna have your ass for this...
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10-23-2006, 07:11 PM
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#3 | | I walked on the moon
Excel-2010 is online now Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 58,979
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I see what you did there.
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10-23-2006, 07:25 PM
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#4 | | Ninja Of Love
Vangulus The Great is offline
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OH........MY..........GOD
Last edited by Vangulus The Great : 10-23-2006 at 07:38 PM.
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10-23-2006, 07:27 PM
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#5 | | HEY EVERYBODY IT'S LABOR DAY
Arctures is offline
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A+++ would read again
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10-23-2006, 08:18 PM
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#6 | | APHEXTWINAPHEXTWINAPHEXTWIN
Ribos is offline
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...
wow.
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10-23-2006, 08:19 PM
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#7 | | BACK IN BLACK
Sanjuro is offline
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The sad thing is he told me all of this on AIM D: | |
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10-23-2006, 08:26 PM
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#8 | | fistbump the whole dang world
SAY HI TO A BRO is offline
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what the fuck | |
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10-23-2006, 08:41 PM
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#9 | | //goddamn::[PISSED]
ANGRY ABOUT ENGLISH is offline
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I don't know if I should be amused, horrified, or disgusted with myself for cracking the fuck up. | |
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10-23-2006, 09:02 PM
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#10 | | Why are you wearing pants!?
Jumbo is offline
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...:gonk:
Why do we not have that emote yet?
Last edited by PenguinMan : 10-23-2006 at 09:04 PM.
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10-23-2006, 09:07 PM
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#11 | | KAWAII DESU NE!
WEABOO is offline
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The moral of the story is
Dispose of your sperm
...maybe this is why vagina smells...
....nope...no its not...
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weaaaaaboooooooooo :3
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10-23-2006, 11:45 PM
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#12 | | //bemanistyle::[Member]
RTP9999 is offline
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I find this amusing.
Uhh... Yep. Most definitley is. | |
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10-23-2006, 11:57 PM
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#13 | | //bemanistyle::[User]
fruitloops is offline
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'sup PenguinMan.
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10-24-2006, 12:21 AM
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#14 | | HEY EVERYBODY IT'S LABOR DAY
Arctures is offline
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Even better, fill the sperm with aids.
No one will ever know.
Until they die
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10-24-2006, 01:19 AM
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#15 | | Duck duck duck duck duck
Alex is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadRoll  what the fuck | 5char
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