Suggest something we can send instead of 2 Dell Laptops

[babbagamp shramp camp]

Okay, I'm sure most of you have heard of/read about the P-P-P-Powerbook. This is a similar situation.

(note that when I say 'we,' I mean either me or my boss.)

Earlier todayat work, we received a call from someone who wanted to buy two laptops from us. He asked us how far we could ship them, and we said as far as needed, but we wouldn't cover the cost. After that, he went ahead and told us which laptops he wanted and gave us his credit card number. It was, obviously, not valid. The second credit card he gave us was missing a number. When we asked him about this, he said we should be able to fill in the last one. We told him it didn't work.
The third one he gave us wasn't valid either, but we told him that it went through just fine. We gave him a "confirmation number" and asked when he'd like us to ship it, to which he responded that FedEx would come pick it up.

Now, originally, we were just going to, like, cuss him out and get a laugh. But we decided that we'd like to have a bit more fun with it. Hence, Forum Boredom, I turn to you. Much in the way that MyNameIsJeff asked the SA forums for hilarity, I'm asking you for something rididulous to send to this guy (who's in London, coincedentally).

The current ideas we've got are:

• Make the "Dell Extremium" out of random computer parts (motherboards, etc) screwed down to hinged planks of wood
• Use the box FedEx will be picking up as a trash can
• Shit in a box (this probably won't work)
• Mail him bricks

We've got until Friday morning. Pictures will be taken.

(also note that there's an equal chance this is all bullshit and there's no FedEx pickup at all. that will be sad, but may still provide for hilarity.)

[Hortence:The Muleface Mod]

Small cardboard folding boxes with poorly hand drawn laptop facades on them.

[Geschpooklichkeit]

With extremely offensive pictures of British stereotypes printed on the "monitors".

[Fuchikoma]

Ramen PC. :O

[raven_tker]

tape
on to the screen of a dead laptop

[Geschpooklichkeit]

Or leave the screen on that forever so it leaves a ghost.

[raven_tker]

Originally Posted by The-Excel

Or leave the screen on that forever so it leaves a ghost.

i like this idea

we should sell used TVs on ebay for super cheap with that burned into it

[Geschpooklichkeit]

Or this:

[Eskaine]

I say the bricks with a piece of paper saying OWNED and a pic of a penis

[Solon Halwinder]

Your "Dell Extremium" idea is the best. I would say send that and a recreation of the "P-P-P-Powerbook!"

[noisy doll☆]

YES! I found it. I had one of these as a kid.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...category=11736

[Trick]

I suggest sending him a frozen gallon of milk with holes drilled into the bottom. Line the container with something that will keep the liquid in, and laminate a "friendly" thank-you note and toss that in as well.

When FedEx picks it up, they won't be able to tell it's filled with liquid, but by the time it gets to him and he opens it, it will be absolutely rancid from sitting in a hot van for 2-3 days.

Or you could just send him a box of used condoms. Either way.




Bonus suggestion: Find several dead laptops and pry the keys from them - replace them into a single dead laptop, with the keys re-arranged to say something sadistic/witty/offensive. Color something directly onto the screen with paint markers, rather than just taping a picture to it.

[I AM THE PROPHECY.]

Originally Posted by raven_tker

tape[im g]http://img419.imageshack.us/img419/1936/midnightsmall5br.jpg[/img]
on to the screen of a dead laptop

i was actually going to suggest sending a boxful of printouts of this, yeah

[ranatalus]

dongs was my original suggestion

but the milk thing sounds pretty good instead

a massive dump akin to the one mdrl made this morning could be even better

[LAMBORGHINI FCUKER]

Make sure to put in a greeting card with a picture of farfcock. D8