Poetry Thread

Axem Rangers · 09-17-2006, 12:08 AM

Well, there's a writing thread, but I thought poetry and/or lyrics should be kept seperate, so here we are...

I just wrote this tonight, and though it's still completely unrefined and unedited as of yet, I could appreciate some feedback:

"Descention" (working title)

You can see white spirals of snow fall
Down through a window to where the cold is stored
And in the dark it illuminates
The face of someone, hated and ignored
In the faded frame he sits
Painted back when there was light
But in the dark he cannot see
The other side of this man-made night

His age is masked by the layers of mist
And yet he still looks beyond his years
For though his eyes and wounds are old
Fresh and young are his blood and tears
And though he has no want of voice
He could not speak even if he did so wish
His throat did rebel and rupture long ago
One could not expect it to survive all of this (alt. Unrealistic to expect it could take all of this)

The room is littered with incompletes
Shattered to thousands of pieces carpeting the floor
Empty inkwells and torn manuscripts
Out of tune instruments and off key scores
Pictures of the past's friends and lovers
Eyes and mouths burnt out with cigarettes
Likewise his own eyes do not see
The price one pays to totally forget (alt. The price he payed to completely forget)

What an unearthly place that exists here
Shivering just beneath the ground
And yet the setting is as old as life
The Man Out of The Planet where he once was found
And when a fortress becomes a tomb
And when a creature finally succumbs to this
He'll find himself sane in a mad world
Transcending the idea of lonliness (alt. Transcending the feeling of lonliness)

Thank you for reading...

Scorpion SGT · 10-14-2006, 11:51 AM

so is that a poem or lyrics? Can i post all my poems here?

Danser · 10-14-2006, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorpion SGT

so is that a poem or lyrics? Can i post all my poems here?

This is called the poetry thread, what do you think?

Scorpion SGT · 10-14-2006, 08:56 PM

I think i feel about this big --

Excel-2010 · 10-16-2006, 09:38 PM

They say that you are beautiful,
on the Inside.
Attend an autopsy and you'll
Disagree too.

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I will fight you.

Scorpion SGT · 10-16-2006, 10:48 PM

Upon this day the sun will rise, and you will hear the peoples cries, cries of horror fill the land, for in the midst will rise a hand. A hand of darkness from the sea, and all will turn and look to me. They scream and cry "send it away!" For I have called it hear today. I wish to see the world begone, i want to hear the people morne, and when i feel the time is right, I cast the world in eternal night. Never more will will they laugh at me, their scornful eyes will never see. But in their minds will always be, the reason for this darkness...me

Axem Rangers · 10-16-2006, 10:57 PM

Two of the poems in this thread are awesome.

(HINT: Neither of them are the shitty one that misspells "mourn.")

Scorpion SGT · 10-16-2006, 11:37 PM

roses are grey, violets are black. There are no colors for the colorblind jack...

Danser · 10-17-2006, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Excel-2006

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I will fight you.

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
You are emo,
And so you cut you.

------------------------------
five sylables then
seven sylables and then
five beats once again

Addamantanium · 11-05-2006, 03:41 PM

Crimson binds,
in solumn lace.
Tears of resent,
strike across your face.

You knew what happend,
in twisted fate.
I tried to help,
but I'm too late.

A story of faith,
and hate unfold.
We speak of mysteries,
now untold.

A friend's betrayal,
bleeds your heart.
As two people,
are being torn apart.

Meh... I can't really write poems but this is one of mine...

I love all of the others though!

floridaboi · 11-10-2006, 07:35 PM

(mind you this was when I was depressed.... like really bad so dont read it if you want wanna read negative poetry... lol)

You can sit there and drown you life in sorrow.
The beautiful electronics that comfort a heart.
Break beats, trance beams, techno fiends.
We all use our music to escape our grief.

You can spend your 7 years and 50 days searching for the right one.
But you may never find your someone.
The one you wish to hold, the one your heart tells you to long for.
You will never find so you hear.
Someone to hold you tight, someone to make it feel all right, every day and night, you may never find that someone.

Listening to your heart can lead you to your end.
The poison in their veins can kill you in an instant.
It can rain men but you'll never find your special someone.
Finally it happened to you, you learned of the pain in the world that you cannot ignore.

Music provides a weak shelter from the pain in this depraved world in which we live a life of hope and dreams.
Life is no techno fantasy, no siren can show the way to happiness.
It's a rainy day and the sun may not shine.
Don't get your hopes up and get shot down.
Don't take the chance, its foolish to do so.

Just sit aside and return to your world of music, and ignore the world of love little child, you do not belong...

reaper_jon · 09-09-2007, 12:34 PM

wow that was a really good poem...its really creative. good job. i might post some of mine later too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axem Rangers

Well, there's a writing thread, but I thought poetry and/or lyrics should be kept seperate, so here we are...

I just wrote this tonight, and though it's still completely unrefined and unedited as of yet, I could appreciate some feedback:

"Descention" (working title)

You can see white spirals of snow fall
Down through a window to where the cold is stored
And in the dark it illuminates
The face of someone, hated and ignored
In the faded frame he sits
Painted back when there was light
But in the dark he cannot see
The other side of this man-made night

His age is masked by the layers of mist
And yet he still looks beyond his years
For though his eyes and wounds are old
Fresh and young are his blood and tears
And though he has no want of voice
He could not speak even if he did so wish
His throat did rebel and rupture long ago
One could not expect it to survive all of this (alt. Unrealistic to expect it could take all of this)

The room is littered with incompletes
Shattered to thousands of pieces carpeting the floor
Empty inkwells and torn manuscripts
Out of tune instruments and off key scores
Pictures of the past's friends and lovers
Eyes and mouths burnt out with cigarettes
Likewise his own eyes do not see
The price one pays to totally forget (alt. The price he payed to completely forget)

What an unearthly place that exists here
Shivering just beneath the ground
And yet the setting is as old as life
The Man Out of The Planet where he once was found
And when a fortress becomes a tomb
And when a creature finally succumbs to this
He'll find himself sane in a mad world
Transcending the idea of lonliness (alt. Transcending the feeling of lonliness)

Thank you for reading...

tornupsock · 09-30-2007, 10:38 PM

I once knew a woman named Sue
She lived in Apartment two.
She had a small cow,
who always said meow
cus he could not learn to say moo.

soundbyte75 · 12-03-2007, 02:28 PM

Roses are red
violets are green
will you please go
fix the tv screen?

_TAKA · 12-17-2007, 02:15 AM

My iPod was stolen, and I wrote the following. Also, I normally don't write about what I feel, really... I never write about my emotions, cause they tend to come out mediocre, but this is the first time I decided to keep a poem based on what I felt, and it turned out really good:

Anger

Once things go wrong, with anyone
Everyone involved becomes blind
Blind in any and every way

Your actions foreshadow pain
Your lips, to have them deny all that you speak
Your fist, to damage from the outside as the body absorbs it
Your eyes, those violent and fiery eyes, are so exposed