Awkward Situations

[Kaykun[Stoked]]

It's simply put, awkward situations.
Tell me a story. Share it with the intarworld.


My start off story isn't going to be that intense, but today at Old Country Buffet I kept getting the feeling like I was always in people's way. And not just any people. OLD PEOPLE. They freaking LOVE Old Country Buffet. What else do they love more? Not waiting in line. It's really scary standing infront of an old person when you know in their head, they're thinkin', HURRY THE UCKF UP.

I find myself constantly saying sorry, excuse me, and mildly laughing in a polite manner when they say, "Oh, no. You're fine. Take your time."

[I AM THE PROPHECY.]

Well I woke up covered in blood next to the shredded chunks of a hooker I didn't remember hiring, and

[Trick]

Originally Posted by MDRL

and

Don't leave us hanging here, man. I need details!

[DragTheCigaretteKing]

Whenever I post apparently ^_^


besides that


I was at the arcade playing the crane machine. This woman (beautiful might i mind you)was behind me waiting to play. So i wind up grabbing 2 of the same stuffed dolls and i decide "wth" and give her one. AT THAT SAME MOMENT her boyfriend comes out and he's ready to kick my ass. I just say " You have a very fine woman there and dont lose her" . Thats when i ran out of there and caught the bus.

[Kaykun[Stoked]]

Hahahahaha, oh God.
That's freaking priceless.

[I AM THE PROPHECY.]

Originally Posted by hyper kitten

Whenever I post apparently ^_^


besides that


I was at the arcade playing the crane machine. This woman (beautiful might i mind you)was behind me waiting to play. So i wind up grabbing 2 of the same stuffed dolls and i decide "wth" and give her one. AT THAT SAME MOMENT her boyfriend comes out and he's ready to kick my ass. I just say " You have a very fine woman there and dont lose her" . Thats when i ran out of there and caught the bus.

you are the biggest loser alive

Originally Posted by Trick

Don't leave us hanging here, man. I need details!

realized that I had been set up as I heard the distant wail of sirens--a wail that was growing less distant by the second. I leaped off the sodden mattress and considered my options. A naked man fleeing from a house of ill repute would raise fewer eyebrows than a man fleeing in clothes brown with dried blood, so I stripped out of the ruined suit and stuffed it into the trash basket in the corner. I lifted the plastic bag out and hefted it over my shoulder.

Stepping down into the street, I ducked into the alley next to the building and tried to get my bearings, still feeling the effects of whatever drug had gotten into me last night. I squinted at the battered street sign down on the corner; I was all the way across town. Leaning back into the alley, I looked around frantically for something to cover myself with and spotted a convenient hobo passed out in front of the dumpster.

Feeling somewhat guilty, I adjusted my new trench coat and began striding away from the oncoming sirens, much closer now than they had been a minute ago. Eyes forward, confident stride. Nothing to hide. An upstanding citizen. An upstanding citizen in a smelly, battered coat walking barefoot at around five in the morning through a rough part of town carrying a bag of blood-stained clothes. That was the ticket.

many awkward situations followed before i was cleared of my crimes, the end

[LAMBORGHINI FCUKER]

Originally Posted by MDRL

entry

> WATCH TV

[I AM THE PROPHECY.]

if the following isn't what you wanted forgive me and post a clarification

Originally Posted by Reenee

> WATCH TV

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and flipped on the TV. Cartoon Network, television station of choice for all hard-boiled urban private eyes, flashed into existence like an animated Garden of Eden. I didn't have time for Bloo's antics right now, though. I flipped to the local news.

My face, sullen, unshaven, in need of a haircut, glared out from the corner while the reporter described how I'd butchered an unsuspecting prostitute. The police had received an anonymous tipoff that I was the murderer who'd been tearing all those women to shreds, and that I'd be right where I had woken up that morning.

Joke's on you, I thought with a grim smile as coverage switched to a three-legged dalmatian that had rescued a local boy from drowning in the town reservoir before savaging him on the shore. I went to the barber just last week.

[Sexy]

Accidentally shitting in someones mouth when just innocently trying to fart in their mouth.

[LAMBORGHINI FCUKER]

Originally Posted by MDRL

command

> TALK ABOUT EVENTS ON INTERNET WHILE HAVING FUCKING DELICIOUS BREAKFAST

[DJLC]

Originally Posted by Reenee

> TALK ABOUT EVENTS ON INTERNET WHILE HAVING FUCKING DELICIOUS BREAKFAST

[`Starke]

ever been walked in on by your mother and girlfriend, naked with your dick literally between your legs? happened 7 years ago and ive still never heard the end of it

[t('' )]

uh

[stuartwood89]

Telling my parents I wasn't gay.

...man, they were pissed.

[I AM THE PROPHECY.]

Originally Posted by Reenee

> TALK ABOUT EVENTS ON INTERNET WHILE HAVING FUCKING DELICIOUS BREAKFAST

The sausages were sizzling, fresh out of the pan, and the eggs were running slightly, just the way I like them. The hash browns weren't doing anything that could be described by a verb, which was also fine. I smiled at the plate, enjoying a brief moment of respite before I had to begin clearing my name.

I glanced over at my desktop. Vile temptress! I'd left the monitor open on one of my regular haunts. I frowned, but then gave in and carried my plate over to the desk. I sat down, cracking my knuckles and shoveling some of the pile of food into my mouth before clicking the new thread link.

I was a wanted man, I typed. The police were after me to bring me in and punish me for a crime I didn't commit against a woman I didn't know. I chewed thoughtfully on some of the egg before continuing. I was going to have to go away for a while, but I'd be back--I'd be back and I'd have brought down the son of a bitch that was trying to ruin me. I paused, questioning the wisdom of describing my current situation on a publicly available, easily found online message board, but then shrugged since I'm the protagonist and wouldn't write myself into a corner this early on. I submitted the thread.

I looked out the window as I scraped up the remainder of the food. It was going to me a nice day. It was a shame it had to start off the way that it had. My gaze returned to the screen.

Replies had been posted...things were usually slow early in the day but already there were several people telling me how gay I was. This wasn't unusual; I scrolled down. One reply in particular caught my eye.

good, i hate u u fuckin whore

I stopped chewing, convinced now that maybe the drug hadn't worn off. I looked again, and the name remained where I had seen it. Impossible. He's been gone forever, he wouldn't come back out of nowhere. It was a name that, interestingly, had come to be associated with--nay, synonymous with--awkwardness, one that somehow managed to convey a total lack of understanding of societal norms even while posting on a forum designed originally as a spam pit.

Holosoth.