I hate proselytizers.

Adam We · 10-11-2006, 12:04 PM

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/proselytize

So these two fat old bags come to my door and ring my doorbell. I'm thinking "Fuck, who could be at the door?". So I get ready as fast as I can, because it's quite rude to answer the door when you only have underwear on. Yeah, slightly socially unacceptable.

So I answer. They give me a slip of paper and start talking to me about their faith. I listen and attempt to ignore their

"Where will you go when you die blah blah blah old conservative cunt garbage fucking propaganda btw vote for bush"

So I thank them with the most shit-eating grin EVAR. And as they walk away and reach the end of my driveway, I shout after them:

Praise Buddha!

dickrazor · 10-11-2006, 12:10 PM

Ooooh badass.

But yes I dislike it when people go around forcing their religions and beliefs (abortion anyone?) on everyone else.

Danser · 10-11-2006, 01:01 PM

Next time shout

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adam We

Praise (Insert name of ancient egyptian deity here)!

Axem Rangers · 10-11-2006, 01:19 PM

Completely unrelated, but you made me think of how much fun it is to go up to the military recruiters in my school's cafeteria, holding my buddy Mike's hand, and telling them that my boyfriend and I are interested in enlisting.

Jumbo · 10-11-2006, 01:32 PM

Forcing their beliefs on you? It doesn't sound like it unless they hogtied you as well.

I can understand what it's like though, since I've had Jehovah's Witnesses come around a few times, but most of the time I just try to get out of talking ASAP without being completely rude.

Your reaction was pretty funny without being terribly impolite though.

btw vote for Bush

HioMrSan · 10-11-2006, 02:10 PM

My old roomate anwsered the door for them completely naked, and then acted like he was genuinely interested. Needless to say they excused themselves and left very quickly.

Geschpooklichkeit · 10-11-2006, 03:06 PM

Too bad Bush is out in two years.

Praise Allah!

This is a completely sarcastic post.

m335h73r of PBJ · 10-11-2006, 03:11 PM

My friend kyle and I were chilling fine saturday 6am when we hear the doorbell. We look out the window and see that it's Jehova's Witnesses.

Quickly I run to kyles closet and grab our black monks robes and draw a pentagram on kyle's forehead, then go answer the door.

I take one look at both of them in a sort of sweeping motion and without wasting a second.

"PERFECT! WE NEEDED VIRGINS FOR OUR SACRIFICE!"

They look at us with the most horrified expression on their faces and run.

They never bothered us again.

ANGRY ABOUT ENGLISH · 10-11-2006, 03:16 PM

I've got a few stories of irritating solicitors, most unintentional. For example, put some pants on when you come to the door, Mormons tend to get distracted by a pale white guy standing there in the buff.

Also, if you're cooking something, place the knife and chicken (it was a family meal, okay?) down before answering the door. They looked at me and screamed "SINNER".

Finally, on a non-religious note: do not refer to Navy recruiters as "baby SEALs". That pisses them off to such a degree.

Beer Can · 10-11-2006, 07:20 PM

HAIL LORD XENU! <--Actually shouted at a group of Scientologist recruiters on campus. Sadly, though, they ignored me. Still, though, good fun.

ANGRY ABOUT ENGLISH · 10-11-2006, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ribos

HAIL LORD XENU! <--Actually shouted at a group of Scientologist recruiters on campus. Sadly, though, they ignored me. Still, though, good fun.

I just wear this shirt instead. Lets me pick out the stupidest members of both Scientology and (insert political party here) when they complain because they don't get it.

Nomi · 10-11-2006, 08:27 PM

We get a lot of preachers around on campus, handing out New Testaments and all of that. It's kind of annoying because I'm no good at being a snub and saying no thanks, even to cell phone booth scumbags. Two youth group girls ambushed me when I was walking back to my dorm and I had to listen to their 10 minute proposal about how I needed Jesus in my life and we meet on Thursdays and Mondays and we're so flexible and hey we're cute girls come with us next week here's a flyer we love you!

When they come to my door at home I usually just say that we already have a church. My family does, so it's not a total lie. I never said I went

Akkaraju · 10-11-2006, 10:21 PM

A bunch of Mormons came to my door a few years ago, they were really annoying. Couldn't convince them that i did not want to join their religion.

Was tempted to bring out my flaregun, but i left it at work >.>;;

Apparently though, if you're lucky and they havent visted all the other houses near you, tell them that X neighbour is interested. Got them away pretty quickly.

nVGDlm_zk · 10-12-2006, 10:28 AM

No love for Cthullu?

Beer Can · 10-12-2006, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fletcher

I just wear this shirt instead. Lets me pick out the stupidest members of both Scientology and (insert political party here) when they complain because they don't get it.

Why would I want to impeach the great Dark Lord Xenu? He did a favor to those people, letting them live on vicariously through us! It's a form of immortality! We should embrace the Thetans that choose to live through us.