The Lemon Mash-Up

[noisy doll☆]

Brought to you in part by our favorite mash-up maker Mint, here's a new game. All you have to do is just take two canons (game, comic, movie, whatever the fuck) that have no relation whatsoever and somehow link them together to write a dirty, funny, ridiculous fanfic. I'll start with one that was commissioned for a joint project that doesn't seem like it'll ever be finished. It's kinda long, so bear with me.

The legal ramifications of baking

“Mint!”
“What?”
“Let’s get started already. Don’t you love to bake cake?”
“Not nearly as much as you!” Millefuille had to giggle. Her grumpy partner for some strange reason was not interested in their new mission at all, which was surprising to Millefuille, since what could possibly be more fun than baking a cake? Mint on the other hand, was suffering from the side effects of yet another foray into trouble, caused by her irresistible curiosity…

That morning, she had received a box in the mail from an unknown source. The contents should have given her some kind of clue as to the identity of its sender, since it was directly related to her new mission, but stars filled her eyes and nothing else mattered except putting on the new costume. She couldn’t resist costumes. The only problem was, it wouldn’t come off, and it was making her feel quite strange… Wait! There was a note at the bottom of the box. Half of it had rubbed off somehow, but she could make out the words “true love” and “magic”. What a bunch of @#$t. Millefuille’s calls awoke her from her steaming frustration, which soon turned to panic. She couldn’t let her friends see her in this ridiculous frilly dress! But it wasn’t coming off, and as she tugged at the straps of the white apron, she found her desire to take it off waning. Yes, being seen in such a sexy outfit would be good. Maybe it would lead to the solution to her other problem: the issue that was becoming more pressing and more…heated with every passing minute. Her hand found itself cupping her small breasts beneath the fabric.

“Mint! Aren’t you coming?”
“Uh, yes! I’ll be right there!” This would not do. She had to do something, but what?

After some nagging, Millefuille eventually convinced her troubled friend to start greasing the cake pan and mix the cake batter. Baking a cake isn’t a particularly difficult activity; it’s decorating the cake that proves difficult. The pair soon found themselves with nothing to do as they waited for the treat to bake in the oven, and so they sipped tea by the countertop.

“Mint-san, what’s wrong?” Mint could see nothing but innocent concern in the girl’s eyes; the pink haired beauty would never stop being naïve and caring. Well, maybe she might stop being naïve by the end of the day, but…
“Who, me? Nothing! I’m just really uh, hungry. Yeah.” The petite bluenette found her eyes drifting down, past the cute face and full lips, past the delicate collarbones and to the apron with the strawberry print and the…wait! “Hey, you have cake batter on you!”
“Oh no! This is my favorite apron!” Her face changed so suddenly, and Mint could almost see tears in the corners of her eyes. Jeez, she thought. The poor kid ought to get it together. It’s just an apron.
“Maybe I should help you?” Mint reached towards the other girl and started to wipe the batter off her front, inadvertently stroking her front at the same time. The insistent desire that had been building steadily since she put on her frilly costume, which Millefuille hadn’t even seemed to notice yet, caused her to appreciate more fully than she would have liked to admit the softness and fullness of her friend’s chest. Is it just that I wish I looked like her, or is it something else, she thought. Lost in her reverie, she hardly noticed the flush building in Millefuille’s cheeks; nor did she realize just how long she had spent dwelling on her target after the cake batter had already come off.
“Mint-san, what are you doing?”
“?!” “I uh, I don’t know!”
“Well, it feels good, so you shouldn’t stop!”
“…what?” It was too much to believe. Was she a lesbian, or did she just have no sense at all? Mint wondered whether to say something rude or just obey the girl, since her hands in fact did not want to stop at all. She chose the latter, and continued to stroke and knead Millefuille’s pillows, much to her friend’s delight. Soft moans emitted from the older girl’s mouth, and this encouraged Mint to try kissing the soft lips. As they kissed, Millefuille reached up to scratch behind Mint’s overly large ears, which prompted some catlike mewls from the smaller girl.

“Oh my god.”

Phoenix Wright hadn’t meant to pry into other peoples’ business. He did not mean to be a voyeur, or a pedophile, or any sort of rude person. But as he watched the two candy-haired girls making out, he found that his legs just didn’t want to move, that the errands he had meant to run when he passed by the window of his neighbor’s apartment suddenly lost all meaning, and found himself once again questioning his sexuality. As he watched the two girls moving towards the kitchen table, he adjusted himself and remembered the young girls he had worked with before. Lithe and full of energy, with innocent faces and quirky insight, his two schoolgirl friends’ faces and bodies flashed before his eyes, and he suddenly found himself regretting having let Maya go back to the mountains. She was so sweet, so caring, and so willing….Oh! The smaller one was now smearing frosting on the pink-haired one’s nose and licking it off. God. He wanted to climb through the open window right then and take her, no the other one, no maybe both, right then, but he was a good man! A good guy! Really! Wasn’t he? He remembered a similar time when his eyes just couldn’t take themselves away from the scene; it was achingly familiar now, and he felt even more confused just thinking about it.

It was a rainy night some months ago down by the Prosecutor’s office, and there were even some flashes of lightning here and there. Certainly not unlike those scary nights during which less-than-savory events occur. Phoenix had been on his way to visit his friend and rival Edgeworth to discuss justice, the value of truth, and other wishy-washy topics that Edgeworth rarely had patience for. He noticed that the door was locked; this was not an uncommon thing for Edgeworth, since he had many important meetings that deserved privacy. What did seem uncommon was the laughter that rang even through the thick wooden door. It almost sounded like Edgeworth’s client, probably a witness, was drunk! But that wasn’t standard procedure at all, was it?

“Why Prosecutor, I have no idea what you mean by this, really!”
“Please, call me Miles, Miss Avignon.” Edgeworth nudged the glass of scotch across the desk towards the beautiful young woman. A new recruit to the Police Department, Sophia Avignon was wide-eyed, determined, and a bit more high-minded than the rest of her peers, but hardly any of the senior officers were interested in her fabulous work ethic. No, it was her silky long legs, delicate features and that fantastic ass of hers that kept the compliments coming. None of this was lost on Edgeworth, of course, and it was part of the reason she had been invited to discuss the evidence for the new murder case.
“Then you should also call me Sophia, sir, err…Miles.” Sophia couldn’t quite understand what was going on. She had been called to the prosecutor’s office to discuss evidence, so why was he pouring her drinks? As this was her first police job, she couldn’t be sure if this was how things got done around here, but her thoughts were interrupted by a small plastic bag being dropped on the desk in front of her.
“As you know, I’m sure, Miss Sophia, every trial is about evidence. Without proper, hard evidence, we cannot convict the criminals that we catch. Without solid proof we can bring no one to justice. Isn’t that right?”
“Why yes sir,” “Miles.” “Why yes, Miles, of course. What does this bag mean, then? If you’re talking about tomorrow’s case, this wasn’t found at the scene of the crime at all. We did a thorough che-“
“Yes, I know, Sophia.” Edgeworth walked around the desk to lean into her over her shoulder. “The only way the prosecutors and the policemen can get anything done is to maintain a certain level of trust. You do trust me, don’t you Sophia?” She felt arms slowly and sinuously wrap around her waist, and his hot breath on her neck. “Don’t you?”
“Miles, I—” His teeth found their way to her neck, and as she struggled his arms wrapped tighter around her. One hand smoothly felt up to the buttons on her jacket and began to unbutton them. She could hardly believe what was happening.
“Shhh…” As he started to grope her breasts, she leaned back and kissed him. Maybe it was the alcohol, and maybe it was because she admired him, but at this point it hardly mattered. Miles Edgeworth always got what he wanted, and she knew that to resist him was futile.

Phoenix felt himself stiffen at hearing the moans coming from the room beyond the door, and recalled that it was not an uncommon feeling when he was around Edgeworth. Somehow the moments at which the two men were locked in a battle of wits and wills were the most arousing for Phoenix, though he could never quite figure out why. He had assumed that the challenge itself, and the feeling of fighting for true justice were what excited him, but now outside Edgeworth’s office, spying on him and the hapless young policewoman, he wondered why exactly he felt so turned on. “It must be because she’s so hot. Yeah. I mean, look her…hair! And her... butt! Yeah, right.” Another groan became audible. Edgeworth was now bending her over the desk and taking her from behind. At this point the only one visible through the small peephole in the door was Edgeworth, who in his predictable way kept his pants on, neatly folding the zipper out of the way to prevent any discomfort while he fucked the poor girl out of her wits. She didn’t seem to mind at all, though. In fact, she was panting and whimpering, calling out his name over and over again. As for the prosecutor, there were only grunts and sighs.
“Oh, please!”

Phoenix watched, quite torn between his sensibilities and his desire, the quickly unfolding scene between the two young girls. Mint and Millefuille were now naked and glistening, painting each others’ naked bodies with frosting, licking it off of breasts and hips and labia, and rubbing against each other with wild abandon. He could hardly imagine what was up with them, but did it really matter? What was more important was figuring out what was “up” with himself. Almost of its own accord, his hand found itself in his pants, and he stifled a groan as he tried to fulfill his own burgeoning lust. Memories of Edgeworth and the girl kept flashing through his mind as he stroked himself, not even caring anymore who was fueling this guilty race to the end.


“Miles!”

Edgeworth didn’t hear Phoenix’s strained cry at all, since it came at the same time as Sophia’s passionate scream. He found his own release then as well, and only took a few seconds before withdrawing from her body, pulling down her skirt and fixing his own clothes. The deed was done, and now his plan was fool-proof. “Now, I’ll have you sign this in as official evidence, Miss Avignon.”
“What? But it’s not real, is it?”
“Sophia, what did I tell you about trust? And even if it isn’t, you have to do it. Otherwise, you and I will not be the only audience to what happened tonight.” He pointed to a video camera nestled between a few journals on the bookshelf.
“No! You’re blackmailing me?”
“I don’t lose cases. Ever. Except to that Phoenix Wright, and you can be sure as hell I won’t be losing to him again tomorrow! Now sign this form, before you get yourself on your way towards being fired.” Tears trickled down her red cheeks as she signed the form, and signed away her soul. What did real justice mean anymore? She was so sure of herself. She had so much faith in her coworkers, and the prosecutors; what was it good for now?

Though Phoenix was having trouble thinking clearly after his mind-blowing climax, he could hardly believe what he had just witnessed. Sure, he had heard rumors about his friend’s having forged evidence and manipulated witnesses, but they weren’t true…were they? He hardly knew what to think anymore. To think that he could be attracted to such a person. It was terrible.

Sophia almost didn’t see Phoenix as she stumbled out the door and tripped over his shoes. Without even thinking about what he might have seen, she merely stared at him, looking for hope; looking for justice. He didn’t know what to say.


What did it mean to be a good person anymore?

Phoenix froze in front of Millefuille’s window. His hands wiped themselves off on his pant legs, and then went to his face as he started to cry. Unbelieveable. He hadn’t cried since that time in fourth grade when he felt totally alone. Guilt flooded his mind. Men who were liars. Little girls. Did anything normal strike his fancy anymore?



As you can see it's clearly not resolved or finished, so while we're at it, does anyone have any suggestions on how to end the story?

[Bromeo and Fooliet]

Phoenix Wright is a pussy.

[Lain <3]

and then mint got an aaa on wonderstory edit and lived happily ever after the end

[ratna]

Originally Posted by Lain <3

and then mint got an aaa on wonderstory edit and lived happily ever after the end

but then the game malfuncted and the AAA became
an F so mint was sad

[Mint Mania IIDX]